Captain Forth Worth
Fort’s lusty ways caught up with him when he was sentenced to a life in prison for interstellar solicitation in the 4th degree after being caught with C3P-Ho. His only escape from prison was to become a hired gun for The Republic Dominion Federation of Empires. Encased in Wrangler Armor, he was tasked with killing the galaxy’s most heinous criminals and terrorists.
“I’m about to cast a spell on your face.”
“Pardon me ma’am, but you got strong looking knees.”
“God Damn boy, if you only knew- I’ve licked more pussy then Lubbock’s got hairs on his balls.”
“Just imagine, if you, just by accident, stumbled across a whore. She’s got eight tits, three of em’ lactating, two tongues, one on each ball, and can accommodate your dick in her ass, pussy and her mouth all at the same time!”
“Swampy, you known me a long time, you discharging piece of horny green meat. And you know, the one thing you can’t keep from a rattlesnake dirt-bag like me, is the smell of an elf’s vaginy.”
Prison-bound for life for Sexual Assault on a Space Cow, Lubbock became the head of the Captain Fort Worth fan club while they shared a cell. Lubbock has risen through the ranks of the Wranlgers though sheer luck and ass-kissing, and is now second in command to Fort.
Created for safety and pleasure by The Republic Dominion Federation of Empires, the SexBot is the epitome of fucking technology. During long voyages, Wranglers spend most of their off-duty time waiting in the long line to get their satisfaction.
Originally designed by Spacely Sprockets, the second generation Rosie the FoxBot was the Model-T of the Fuck Bot industry.
Willy “Chicken Shit” Hudson
Forced into service by the monetary burden of supporting his many wives. After numerous complaints of “wanting out of this chicken shit outfit,’ he was forcefully reassigned to Captain Fort Worth’s service. His official response was, “At least it’s a cunt hunt and not another bug hunt.”
Mack “NIbbles” Tyson
Too wild and horny for the Intergalactic Penal Colony, Tyson was sentenced to Captain Fort’s service with a warning to the rest of the crew: watch your ears and your assholes.
A throwback to when the galaxy was nothing more than a saloon and two hitching posts, Clint is the old timer of the Wranglers.
After shooting an innocent kindergartener during a routine arrest, Arnold was reassigned to the Wranglers.
Legend of the Galaxy Wide Wrestling Federation, he left on a pilgrimage to find his lost master, the koolade guy, and finish his training.
After totally fucking the whole Middle Eastern part of the galaxy, Bush abandoned presidency of the Intergalactical Oil Federation to continue his personal hunt for alien terrorists. One day he went looking for a bologna sandwich and the next thing he knew, he and Fort were doing lines off of SexBot’s ass. He decided to stay once he found out terrorists were involved.
Though a huge misunderstanding, Sly thought he was signing up for a fight but ended up a Wrangler. He keeps trying to explain this but the only word anyone can understand is ‘Adrian.’
After giving it all he had fixing faulty warp drives as Chief Engineer for Captain Jerk, he got tired of having to stay sober and left to join the drunkest squadron he could find.
While infiltrating the Wranglers for MI-69, he blew his cover after a weeklong Scotch binge and decided the intelligence business had nothing on the search for intergalactic pussy.
An old friend of Fort’s from his days as a mercenary, Warboss Swampass is as horney as he is big. Known in every brothel through the galaxy as the career ender.
Since Orcan women don’t have much power within the tribe, they exert their influence by provoking battles between their men, where the loser has to watch his wife get fucked by the winner. As a result, most fights are started by wives who want to get laid by a larger orc.
The leader of a group of Meatheads, Honchos are the biggest of the big, leading by pure strength and dick size dominance.
Initiated into the Honcho’s gang, Meatheads are the biggest, dumbest orcs of their tribe.
Lowest on the food chain in Orcan society. Mooks don’t wear much, have the smallest dicks and have got a lot to prove.
The Elf Queen
Head Fuck Mistress of the universe, she travels the galaxy with her court of Noble Hoity Toity elves in search of the mythical orgasm. Collector of the finest ho’s in the galaxy, she keeps a harem of Elves who she trains at the Golden Shower Brothel.
All Night Elves
All Night Elves are known for their great stamina and being active all night long.
It’s all pink on the inside… and in this case, the outside as well.
Known as the bitchiest elves in the galaxy, they also seem incapable of being impregnated.
Known throughout the galaxy for their skills with hard wood, the Hard Wood Elves are masters of their craft.
High Professor of Sexual Studies, the Headmaster is believed to be the foremost instructor of head in all the land. He is the on-site tutor for all the Queen’s ho’s.
“I’m like morning wood Wrangler, there’s only one way to get rid of me.”
The madams of the Golden Shower Elf Brothel, they take responsibility of the day-to-day teachings of the Queen’s whores.
Hoity Toity Elves
The nobles of the Queen’s Court, they live a privileged life and generally keep to themselves in the bathhouse, shunning any female presence.
The Very Merry Men
From Not So Surewood Forest, the Very Merry Men have linked up with Twink on his quest.
Having left his home to save the Princess–and then bone the fuck out of her–Twink is in search of the Three Triangles to aid in this quest.
The result of the mating of the Ebony Elves and the Nubian elves, the Darker Elves are the shadows of the woods. They blend into the darkness of the forest with only the whites of their eyes and teeth giving them away.