Elves

The Elf Queen

Head Fuck Mistress of the universe, she travels the galaxy with her court of Noble Hoity Toity elves in search of the mythical orgasm. Collector of the finest ho’s in the galaxy, she keeps a harem of Elves who she trains at the Golden Shower Brothel.

“Hold on there, wrangler. Don’t get your soldier too excited.”“I hope this war has a happy ending.”

All Night Elves

All Night Elves are known for their great stamina and being active all night long.

“Power lies between my thighs.”

Pink Elves

It’s all pink on the inside… and in this case, the outside as well.

“Your pleasures are my demands.”

Blood Elves

Known as the bitchiest elves in the galaxy, they also seem incapable of being impregnated.

“Will you invade me?”

Hardwood Elves

Known throughout the galaxy for their skills with hard wood, the Hard Wood Elves are masters of their craft.

“Imbibe me with your staff.”

The Headmaster

High Professor of Sexual Studies, the Headmaster is believed to be the foremost instructor of head in all the land. He is the on-site tutor for all the Queen’s ho’s.

“I am so not gay! I love women! I’m as straight as a huge uncut log in the Black Wirey forest of Musky land. How dare you! I fucking love chicks, if they’re dressed right.”

“I’m like morning wood Wrangler, there’s only one way to get rid of me.”

Elf Mages

The madams of the Golden Shower Elf Brothel, they take responsibility of the day-to-day teachings of the Queen’s whores.

“Hit me again, this time with feeling.”

Hoity Toity Elves

The nobles of the Queen’s Court, they live a privileged life and generally keep to themselves in the bathhouse, shunning any female presence.

“Make the switch, drop the bitch.”

The Very Merry Men

From Not So Surewood Forest, the Very Merry Men have linked up with Twink on his quest.

“I hope you’re an organ donor because I’m looking for one in particular.”

Twink

Having left his home to save the Princess–and then bone the fuck out of her–Twink is in search of the Three Triangles to aid in this quest.

“What’s the matter princess, can’t make your sword shoot?”

Darker Elves

The result of the mating of the Ebony Elves and the Nubian elves, the Darker Elves are the shadows of the woods. They blend into the darkness of the forest with only the whites of their eyes and teeth giving them away.

“That’s right, release your boys.”[google-translator]